Gear Up, We’re Hunting Twitter Zombies
I can reach in to a proverbial “hat” of web posts and pull out dozens about Twitter Best Practices. In an effort to prevent from having to repeat myself, I’ve linked to a few below written by trusted industry leaders (linkbait anyone). The idea behind using Twitter best practices is that you are a business or person who wants to create a community to share and improve your brand. Before you can do this you have to figure out who you are; The Leader, The Follower or The Zombie.
- The Art of Writing an Effective Twitter Profile by Zach Braiker
- Guy Kawasaki: Twitter As a Tool for Social Media by Lisa Barone
- How To Manage Twitter by Chris Brogan
- 20 Must Read Beginner Twitter Tips for Small Business Owners by Mark Hayward
A common question that always seems to come up among friends or colleagues is “You’re surrounded by zombies and you can choose only one weapon, what is it?” A lot of people go for the shotgun but you have to realize that you’re eventually going to run out of ammo. The next choice is usually a sword or machete. How does this apply to Twitter? Well…
In any chaotic post-apocalyptic world where citizens are threatened by brain eating zombies (social network), you have individuals who set themselves apart as authorities. These people lead us and motivate us to keep the community alive. Everyone else are followers or zombies. The follower should not carry a negative stereotype, however. Followers are good, with out followers we wouldn’t have leaders. Followers are the backbone of any community and should be considered extremely important. Zombies on the other hand are lifeless beings existing only to feed off everyone else. This is especially true on Twitter.
Let’s start by asking: “Why Are You On Twitter”. The answer is usually one of the following five answers.
- Your friends, family or celebrity crush is on Twitter and you need to know what it’s all about
- You’ve been on Twitter for a while, tweet about being bored in a doctor’s office or what crazy thing your kid is doing but haven’t really figured it all out yet
- You’re a business owner or representative and are on Twitter to deliver important content, answer questions and increase reach to your customers or clients
- You’re a professional and have something to offer to the world (or at least you think you do) and you want to be apart of a community of like minded tweeps
- You’re a spammer and want to sell, drive traffic or eat brains
You’re probably not a 5 because I don’t think Zombies can read.
1′s and 2′s welcome to Twitter, I hope you enjoy your stay.
3′s and 4′s I want to tell you a secret. Being on Twitter or any social network isn’t about gaining as many followers, fans or friends as possible. It’s about creating a community where active users can be engaged and gain something of value you from you, share that information with their community and create advocates of your brand. I would choose to have a small number of active users with strength and authority in their community over 10′s of thousands of zombies following me.
This is a point I try to make to all my clients and students. Tweeps who are desperate to increase their followers by any means possible aren’t providing any value or substance to you or anyone else. They’re greedy and eager to reach a rather pointless goal, because they believe this is what makes you an authority. The truth is that anything worth doing is done over time with a lot of effort. These Zombies only act to create more zombies. By following them and countless others you lose sense of what’s real, start aimlessly wondering the universe and gain and give nothing.
There are of course exceptions to any rule. However I fear a Twitterverse where everyone is speaking and no one is listening.
So what’s your favorite Zombie weapon? I like http://topify.com they make it easy to kill zombie followers right from your email account. If @topify isn’t available for some reason I’m a big fan of a riding mower!





Amen Jesse!
I’m starting to wonder what @twitter is going to do (if anything) about all the @spam!
In my experience it seems to come in waves, which I’m hoping means @twitter is actively combating these zombies, and the zombies are somehow getting more “clever.”
My fear is that just like in real life, the zombies will never quit
No matter how many blows we deal them, they’ll keep shuffling toward eating my brains.
PS: My weapon of choice: Shotgun (with a Samurai sword slung over my shoulder)